If you're stuck on using 'he and I' or 'he and me,' look no further. This article will resolve this dilemma for you.
The correct answer is 'he and I.' It is grammatically incorrect to say 'he and me.'
If you want to understand why we'll need to take a peek into personal pronouns and subject vs. object. Let's dive in.
Two essential elements of English grammar are subjects and objects. They are so vital that they are required to build any sentence. Let's explore these two concepts a little further.
The subject is the main player in a sentence. It is the thing performing the action described by the verb. Well, I say a thing, but it can also be a place or a person. The idea expressed in a sentence revolves around the subject.
Let's look at some examples. In the sentences below, the subject is in bold.
Tommy refuses to go to the zoo with Will.
One in two people gets pronouns confused.
Why are you looking at me?
The tastiest dish in the world is spaghetti bolognese.
New York City is our next destination.
Notice how in the second sentence, the subject is four words (by the way, I made up that fact).
If a subject is what is doing the action, the object, on the other hand, is what is being acted upon. Here too, it could be a thing, person, or place.
Let's use the previous examples, but the object is in bold this time.
Tommy refuses to go to the zoo.
One in two people gets pronouns confused.
Why are you looking at me?
The tastiest dish in the world is spaghetti bolognese.
New York City is our next destination.
The fourth example may appear a little confusing since 'spaghetti bolognese' is at the end of the sentence. Still, the spaghetti bolognese is "doing the action" of being the tastiest dish.
Now you know what a subject and an object are, let's see how these concepts apply to personal pronouns. In case you need a refresher, personal pronouns are associated with people. They help you refer to a person or group of people.
When personal pronouns are subjective, they are the central focus of a sentence.
For instance, if you wanted to replace the name 'Tommy' with its corresponding pronoun in the sentence Tommy refuses to go to the zoo, you would need to use the subjective personal pronoun because Tommy is the subject in that sentence.
Here is the list of subjective personal pronouns:
You can replace the subject in the sentence Tommy refuses to go to the zoo with any of these.
I refuse to go to the zoo.
You refuse to go to the zoo.
He refuses to go to the zoo.
She refuses to go to the zoo.
It refuses to go to the zoo.
We refuse to go to the zoo.
You refuse to go to the zoo.
They refuse to go to the zoo.
Do you see why it has to be 'he and I' and not 'he and me'? It is because 'he' and 'I' are both subjective pronouns. In a sentence together, they are both the subject. Here's an example of what that would look like:
I spoke with John the other day. He and I have decided to work on a different project.
We wouldn't be able to say He and I have decided to work on a different project.
Nor would we be able to say Him and I have decided to work on a different project.
Here are a few more examples:
He and I aren't on the same wavelength anymore.
Did you know he and I were dating?
Don't worry, he and I are friends now.
Just like the objects of a sentence, objective personal pronouns are the person being acted upon.
Take the example sentence from above, Why are you looking at me? It isn't 'looking at I' because the subject here is 'you,' which makes 'me' the object.
Here is the list of objective pronouns:
Let's take the example of Why are you looking at me? and replace it with these pronouns.
Why are you looking at me?
Why are you looking at him?
Why are you looking at her?
Why are you looking at it?
Why are you looking at us?
Why are you looking at them?
You might have noticed that we skipped 'you.' That is because the correct pronoun would be 'yourself' (singular) or 'yourselves' (plural). But that's a lesson (article) for another day!
Shock horror, there is an exception! It involves "state-of-being" verbs, also known as "linking verbs." The rule is that if a pronoun directly follows one of these verbs, you should use the subjective pronoun.
State-of-being verbs are verbs that don't describe an action so much as a, well, state of being.
Here are some examples of this in action:
Can I speak with Mrs. Price, please? Yes, this is she.
It was I who committed that mistake.
You are she, the woman who helped me that day.
But don't worry, it is commonly accepted that this is quite an old-fashioned way to speak and certainly very formal. You'll be forgiven for calling someone and saying "It's me" and not "It's I"!
So now you know about personal pronouns and how they vary depending on whether they are the subject or the object of the sentence.
Yes, it can be confusing at first, but remember, there is only one possible correct answer to the question "Is it 'he and I' or 'he and me'?" and that is: 'he and I.'
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